In a verrrry bad mood.. Sorry!!

I apologize right up front. I am in a very bad mood this evening. I was in a good one today and than it turned sour. Please forgive me. The egg growing front is going but it is not going like it should. I have ONE 12mm (I think it is mm) egg and a bunch of little ones. Not enough to do an IVF cycle. The ONE egg is on the right side that has no tube. Nurse is positive but said that if cycle is cancelled they will convert to an IUI. Nope not doing that since I have no right tube. Not going through another one of those for nothing. The game plan is to have another ultrasound on Monday to see if any of the little ones decided to grow. If so they will allow the big one to do what it wants and continue meds to grow the little ones. This means I will be on IVF stim meds for longer than normal. I have already been jabbing myself for 22 days. Not sure how many more I can take. Gained like 10 lbs because I am so bloated but yet only one egg. This whole cycle my body has been fighting me. I am very sore and bruised. I will do what ever it takes. I have not given up but for you know what sake can something go right for me?

Off to forget about my troubles and drown myself in useless tv. Hopefully a better day tomorrow!

Growing my eggies

I am starting to be a bit uncomfortable but so far so good. I have some bloating and I am finally sleeping. I just still cannot get enough of it. It is a struggle to wake up every morning. Tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound to see how many eggs we have and to see if I still need to grow them for a little longer. I am almost done with this. I cannot wait. Only about 2 and a half weeks left of this cycle.

We are officially growing eggs!!! I feel like a chicken.

I am now in the middle of the cycle officially. Last night I officially started the egg growing stage. I should be growing eggs for 7 to 10 days. It is exciting but yet scary. It is expected to be a very tough but exciting time. My ovaries are probably going to be kissing by the end of this growing phase. That is scary since currently my ovaries are NO where near each other. Don't expect any pictures of my bloated ness.

I wonder who the hen feels when she is growing her eggs. I guess I will find out soon enough.

She has finally arrived

I cannot believe I am saying this but I am so happy that my period (AF) has finally arrived. Her arrival allows me to move on to stims. WAHOOO! I am finally moving to the next stage. I should start growing eggs this Sunday. Thank god. I am hoping that once I start growing the eggs these side effects will be turned down a little. I am getting positive again.

Day upteen on Lupron

I am really ready to move on from Lupron. This medicine is really taking a toll on my body. I cannot sleep. I am always tired. I still have this stupid headache and mega hot flashes. My poor cousin and his wife finally got to see the hot flashes and I think I scared them. Sorry!!! We were having dinner at their house and mid dinner I turned a nice bright pink color. As my cousin's wife said my face matched this bright pink shirt I was wearing. I had to go out on the deck to cool off. Not fun anymore. I am waiting for my Lupron period to come so that I can start growing my eggs. Once I start using the other meds hopefully the Lupron effects will calm down. I can only pray.

A week worth of lupron

It has been a week since I started lupron. I am exhausted. I have no energy. This medicine makes me have the worst case of insomnia so it makes the days extremely tough to get through. No wonder people go out on disability when going through treatment. My mood swings are all over the place. Little things are making me mad at times. I feel like I have bipolar. One moment I am happy and the next minute I am mad at the world. I have had this mild headache since starting the medicine and I cannot take a thing for it due to the ingredients in the Tylenol/aspirin will counteract the ingredients in the lupron. I cannot wait for this to be done and over with. I am suppose to take lupron for the whole month. I was advised that once I mix in the other medicines it will be come easier. I hope so. I hope I can start the other medicine soon.

I keep telling myself this will all be worth it in the end. This will all be worth it in the end.

Lost count of what day we are on ...

I have been taking Lupron for the past 4 days and I am not liking it at all. I have had horrible hot flashes, insomnia for the 1st 2 days and no energy for the last 2 days. I started the medicine on Friday. Here was how my weekend went:

Friday night I had instant hot flashes with insomnia

Saturday hot flashes came a little later but once again insomnia.

Sunday I decided enough was enough and I used the energy and good weather to do a full spring cleaning of my kitchen. I cleaned that kitchen from top to bottom. I cleaned the cabinets, the trash can got a bath, the screens on my kitchen windows got a hose down, and every appliance was scrubbed with the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, soap, and some good old elbow grease. I spent 3 hours on a very small walk in kitchen so you can only imagine the type of cleaning I did (I will take a picture of it later). That night when I got the injection I didn't have instant hot flashes but of course they came later. I did sleep though. Not sure if it was the spring cleaning that did it or just pure exhaustion.

Last night I actually went to bed before the hot flashes but started dreaming of hot things like a warm day but through out the dream the day just kept getting hotter and hotter until I woke up around midnight. When I woke up I was mid hot flash. My body was on fire. I guess subconsciously my mind was trying to wake me up. I got down to my birthday suit and tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't fall a sleep so I listened to the neighbor's dog bark until 3:00 am. I being the nice neighbor I am decided at 3:45 am I had had enough of the dog barking, got dressed, went to the neighbor's house, pounded on the door and woke them up. If I have to be awake due to their dog so do they. The gentleman came to the door half a sleep. I politely informed him that his dog has been barking since I woke up at midnight and that I think they MUST have forgotten to bring him in last night. He of course apologized and brought his dog inside. I finally fell back to sleep at 4:30 so that I could get up for 6:00 am

WAHOOO!!! Can you see how I am in such a great mood today. I just love these meds. I have a test tonight and have no energy. Not a very happy camper today at all. Well off to do some more work. Bye for now.

Pros and Cons of Being a Crazy Cat Lady!

I have nothing better to post about so I came up with this lovely list of why I should continue with this lovely journey of mine.

Pros

• No college tuition to worry about
• You can get up and go when ever you please
• No talking back when they get into trouble
• Not having to worry about the other cats they hang out with
• Not having to worry if they will do the very best they can
• Not having to worry about taking care of their offspring.. at least with cats you can sell their offspring (stole that line from a recent email)
• Never having to hear that they hate you

Cons

• Being alone
• Never hearing I love you
• Never hearing the mommy word from someone else's mouth
• Never having little arms wrap around you like you are the most important thing in the world
• Never molding a little person into a great adult
• Having to worry about who will take care of you when you are old
• You cannot leave the life insurance to your cats anymore
• Never having to deal with a crazy schedule of going to a soccer game to watch your little one score the winning goal
• Never seeing the delight in your child's face when they finally figure out something that they have been working on since who knows when. Even if it is something as simple as tying their shoe.

I know these lists are not really serious but I can still come up with alot more cons than pros so I guess I will continue my journey.